when u miss someone soo badly..
it gets numb..
u feel jaded..
everythin ard you just comes to a standstill..
it's like time has frozen..
an icy nippy rimy shivery wintry scene..
ur heart gets anesthetized.. stupefied..
it's just a slothful sluggard slumberous torpid me..
n the i miss u.. it just isnt there anymore..
i can't feel myself missin her..
it just disappeared..
i don't know if i should be happy..
i dont miss her anymore..
i have already lost interest..
just fuckit la..

peter was tellin me he dont feel good after reflectin his life.
it's meaningless to a fathomless extent.. u ask yourself is life worth livin?
wtf r u livin for? for the sake of livin or for others?
dreams..aspiriations, keep them close to your heart. dont let go. they will destroy you.

to those out there..
hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
i'm this very bird.

sorry, i have no fuckin idea what i'm sayin.

>>to this someone... you don't know it but i miss you.

>>jeremy.. you and your mad stts dtts and lrt. wth LA HUH. anyways thanx for always waking me up with your wake up calls. StUdY!! ahhha.... tho it hasn't exactly worked.

lisa said this. part of her blog. i miss her soo much but shes missin someone else. is it a guy? is it a girl? or is there a slightest of ; or the numero uno picayune of chance it's me. i feel soo fucked up by the little things she do. u know.. i was just tellin yan.. the last time i felt this way.. was fuckin long ago.. i cant remember when; but i will always remember it happened. she texted me a sms which as meant for someone else sayin she's gonna watch a show with kenny.

randy asked 'feels like shit right?' no shit it does. i almost forgot that feelin but now it's back again. josh said "i think im finally understanding abit of how u feel to lose someone u love". but i still dont. understand i hope i never have to.

she's havin her promos n she's very stress. so i'm thinkin of callin up my florist n ask how many colors do tulips come in n get one of each. she likes tulips. i think she would be happy la.
u know too.. what we love to do, we find time to do. all the birds in the sky, all the fish in the sea, will never explain what u mean to me.

hans christian andersen once said.. every person's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers. i say my life is a nightmare strung n manipulated by the tips of Satan's will.

everyone's fuckin sick of me saying my favourite girl lisa mona lisa tai tai puddle n pie gucci rush booboopoopoobahbeeboo.
everyone's fuckin sick of me sayin ' i miss lisa '
i myself, am sick of missin her.
everyone's fuckin sick of me whining.
no one wants to hear my whines.
the whines have been going on for the whole year.
randy doesn't want to hear my whines.
dennis cant't wait to return to hear my whines.
ade heard my whines just now though (:
ah wen fuckin hates the word ' lisa '
michelle kam can kum my lanjiao for all the fucks' world i don't give a fuck.
i just want my fuckin lisa.

alexander the great cried at 26 cos he had run out of known worlds to conquer. he had pretty much achieved everythin he could. after that, the rest of his life is simply existence.

i haven't acheived the very one thing i wanted ; talkin about everythin i could..
but still.. now.. my life is already simply existence.
it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the areana, whose face is marred by dust and sweat; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again, cos there's no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strives the deeds; who spends himself at a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end of triumph of high achievenment and who at worst, if he fails while daring greatly, so his place shall never be with those cold and tiny souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

why bother with someone who doesn't give a fuck about you?

a puppy thought that happiness was in his tail.
so he kept chasing it
round & round he went
until he got so fed up & dizzy
then he asked his mummy dog
y it was so
she told him
that, the best thing is to
keep moving forward
only when u do so,
will happiness follow..

fuck the puppy.
fuck the mother.
fuck her.

was watchin the US Open last night..

justine henin-hardenne vs n.petrova..

henin.. the world no.1 and no.1 seed against the lowly 15th seed..
fuck.. still lost right?
she lost 6-4 6-2 in the 4th round.
what a fuckin sorry sight.
saw the determination on justine's face..
fuck.
was it just so that u can't always have what u want?
cheebye.
she saved 3 match points.. down 5-2..
alas, on her 4th.. she lost it.
pathetic.
i was soo motherfuckin sad for her..
i felt she was like me.

fuck u. fuck u. really. fuck u.