the hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. how i wish i can quit smokin.

today. 29th may. 4.15pm. i bumped into lisa, my j'adore, @ far east while smokin.. is it that i smoke too often or im juz plain suey? u noe.. its like before the globlet actually reaches the lips, the wine spills. fucked up la.

i hate my mummy. she promised to call me @ 7pm.. but she didnt. mummy... i fuckin hate u!
i fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin hate u.

i miss cj | i miss the simplicity of it all | i miss lisa | i miss the times i look out fer lisa | i miss her friends | i miss the wanton mee | i miss the yong tau fu | i miss the drink stall auntie | i miss the fruit juice uncle who gave my fags | i miss the fruit juices | i miss the ice moutain | i miss the bandung | i miss buyin sweets/mints | i miss the canteen | i miss the stuffiness of the canteen | i miss everyone surroundin me | i miss 1t10 | i miss 2t10 | i miss all my classmates | i miss the lectures | i miss european history tutorials | i miss the i-am-scoldin-u-cos-i-love-u-jeremy scoldigs frm jean yeow | i miss jean yeow | i miss gatherin in canteen after sch before goin to town | i miss walkin out of sch | i miss the bus stop | i miss smokin in the toilets | i miss the science lab toilets | i miss the fencing rooom | i miss smokin @ grandstands | i miss the grandstands | i miss tennis trainings | i miss mass PE | i miss the first 2 months i had wif RANDY | i miss the stench NEIL left behind after he left after 1st 3months | i miss the times antrishk n i walk ard the sch till we were called security guards | i miss the library | i miss the librarian | i miss the times we had in the library slackin after our meals | i miss walkin ard the corridors | i miss the mornings i had before assembly wif PETER n others | i miss relakin after break @ the grandstands | i miss lookin sad in sch | i miss laughin @ bro paul | i miss the sch anthem | i miss the mornings i see liping's sunshine face | i miss the staircases | i miss takin exams | i miss geog/econs/GP/hist | i miss strokin ulynn/yolanda/daph's cheeks | i miss assemblies under than scorchin hot sun @ the quadrangle | i miss the fish pond outside my class | i miss amanda/augustin/baoli/bennett/celeste/chengta/cindy/cliffy/daph/
darylMYdarling/e'an/eugene/exo/felica/fengyi/gohteckting/hannah/
jacq/james/jason/jean/jenn/jianhui/jinghao/jiongxiong/jon/josh/
kelli/martinjason/mark/marcus/maisie/melv/michael/orange/peishi/
purpleyan/rayner/reubenteongNtan/stacey/stan/shuan/tim/uylnn/
victor/wenlong/wenwen/xueting/xiaohui/yolanda/
| I MOTHER FUCKIN MISS THE WHOLE GOD DAMN PLACE LA |

jacq said 'jermsta's like a lil' boy'
sally said 'my son's damn cute!'
anymore?

i miss acs(I) more but i don't wannna talk abt it.

let me make this clear. i nvr did say smokin is cool. i nvr put it in a way i want pple to noe i smoke. cos everyone who reads my blog noes. i m not proud of it. i m just sayin what i feel. guys.. tio boh? i just want to be happy wif a blog fer my frens to enjoy.
so.. to those whom i dunnoe, i noe u haf done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about smokin as well as contributing to the need for it.. but.. erm..mm.. fark off.
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wtf is wrong wif smokin? y muz pple HATE smokers? cant they just dislike pple smokin? to us smokers, a stick of cigarette is simply just like a kiss which is this lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. so.. to all those out there.. especially her.. who HATE smokers.. fuck u.

now.. let us talk abt this bitch.
you can chase a butterfly all over the field n nvr catch it.
they say that smth as small as a butterfly beatin its wings in china can cause a hurricane in america. wheeeee.... im flyin away. hurhur.

in this ante to supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears
this is fer u.
Can you leave me here alone now
I don't want to hear you say that you know me
that I should be always doing what you say
'cause I'm trying to get through today
and there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
or think about me
don't wanna figure this out
don't wanna think about you
or think about nothing
don't wanna talk this one out
won't let you bring me down

'cause i know
don't wanna think about you
don't wanna think about you

to end on a less sour note..

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date"

Sonnet 18, Shakespear

/lisa/okay,the rest r in alphabetical order/

/ahbai/ahkeong/aloy/amanda/ant/ben/bee/cecil/chihuahua/cliffy/
counsellor/daph/darlingdaryl/dawn/deb/dennis/desiree/eugene/
eunice/gohteckting/jacq/jeanyeow/joseph/josh/kai/katie/kelly/
kelvinthepaikia/kerr/lala/leanne/lindy/mandy/marcus/mel/mish/
mike/mj/mrsann/neil/paul/rach/randy/rayner/roger/sally/
shawnheng/shuan/timlim/uylnn/victorhiadi/weijun/xh/xue/yan/
yannie/yp/zhikai/

/sorry if i left out any names/do let me know/

/this is fer u guys/

/together forever and never to part/together forever we two/and don't you know/i would move heaven and earth/to be together forever with you/

*on the way home..
jerm: tell me some stories abt lisa lei. kum sian.
peter: u gimme ur tie first. i wanna tie a short n fat one
jerm: no
peter: okay la, i left jean yeow's lecture to the toilet, i saw lisa in the canteen quarrellin wif a guy.
jerm: ning nao hia, siang soo much balls?
peter: apparently she knocked over his tray. then i was in a hurry to go back la. so i didnt help her.
jerm: wah lan eh, bu gou brother.. then she how?
peter:i saw the guy bullyin her, but shes reputated to be evil n satanic n all, so i had no worries
jerm:true true.. who's that fucka?
peter: u want to know who's the guy nots? gimme ur tie first
*took off my tie n passed it to peter who tied a mouth-size big knot n 3 inch long.
jerm: siang siang?
peter: no la, i was sleepin in lecture n jean yeow woke me up from my dream. HAHAHAH
jerm: ...

its 11:26 pm n i havent been able to study. abnegation sure goes a long way. thanks fer fuckin my life up.

was i out of my head? was i out of my mind? how could i have ever been soo blind? i was waitin fer an indication. it was hard to find. dont matter what i say, only what i do, i never meann to do bad things to you. so quiet but finally i woke up. if you're sad then it's time u spoke up too.

today's my brother's b'dae.
Dennis Teo.

brother. i just want to let u noe, although u're in australia n all, we will always be here for u. brother, even if i have motherfuckin exams, limpei will fuckin go down n pick u up like what i did the previous time.

happy birthday. sweet 18.

to close.i just want to let everyone know i love my mummy. she goes by the name of sally, nick of jaws. mom, if u r seeing this, dont cry.

so come on jerm be nimble, jerm be quick, jerm flash sat on a candlestick. cos the fire is the devil's only friend. oh and as i watched him on the stage. my hands were clenched in fists of rage. no angel born in hell could break that satan's spell. and as the flames climbed high into the night, to light the sacrificial right. i saw satan laughin with delight. the day,.. jerm died.