do you know that i still think about you?
even though i know that it's too late.
do you know that I'm still missing you?
especially right now you're far away.
there's no need to for you to tell me that; "i'm sorry",
there's no need for you to tell me that i'm sorry,
i said i'm sorry, i said i'm sorry.
i've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind
i've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking of you
i've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind
i've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking.
i'm idling in front of my comp.
i'm waitin for her to call; guess she wouldn't.
i'm goin to cry already; don't know why.
i'm just soo jaded; numb; fucked.
i'm chattin with my brother dennis fuck when the fuck are u gonna fuckin come back?
i'm going to buy him an air tix back to singapore.
i'm fuckin missin her badly.
i'm restraining myself from spillin out my feelings; it sucks. ; know what?
i'm going sleep.

penitence. if not apologies. for you to come across yet another fucked up entry of mine.

i'm not too loosely certain if my dad has read my blog.
' but dad. if you're reading. i'm sorry for all the anguish i have caused. but please. concede me to lead my own life. you know and i know i can make it. so don't make things operose; at the same time, esoteric, for jerm. ya. please leave this blog. liberate me with the solitude i desire. '

labyrinthine is the ilk of life i have been going through.
'wu si ki wu si lou'. wa si lou zeng gu liao. 'ai pia jia eh yia'. pia simi lan? ah sii si.

still fallible to this need for public displays of my thoughts. here's my paltry inoculation of whines. i want to say this. i want to keep it short. i want to get over with it.
- i know i've been very fucked up because of her. it's nothing new or of late. to some extent u guys are irritated by her n started hating her. i quarrelled with my dad last night. he threatened to call n scold her. but it's not her fault. it really isn't. i postulate that i just love her too fuckin much. i convey everyone the apprenhension that she's a fuckin bitch fuckin jerm's already-fucked life. i really don't know. i really feel like givin up at times. like right now.

i say 'no one is truly happy'.
randy says 'for awhile, she made me truly happy'.
she did. for awhile. saturday.

lisa.
if you're reading this, im sorry.
i want to make things better.
and i will.
i'm the one who wants to be with you.
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too.
waiting on a line of greens and blues.
just to be the next to be with you...

lisa, i have not been any happier this year.
i know it's fucked up to blog soo much about one's day.
but it's evidently legitimate since 21st august 2004 is the day i would always want to remember.

so. enjoy.

woke up n gave cindy a call.1230pm.
cabbed down to wisma and met cindy/rachel/xinghui.
got fio to cut my hair.
walked over to crown prince hotel with the girls to return their donation tin cans.
made our way to mandarin's chatterbox.
peter and xiaohui came.
lisa and stephanie came down soon after.2.45pm.
ate the oh-soo-famous overated chicken rice.
the only thing i spoke to her then was 'do you want anything to eat or drink?'
peter cabbed to rayner's place.
i think stephanie disappeared. hahah. who cares? j/k.
shashayed over to cine to check the movie times.
we decided on a 9.10movie - Notebook.
only managed to get seperated seats, 3 together and a pair.
lisa and rachel left to change off their uniforms.
cindy, xiaohui and i went to play abit of arcade.
mike grabbed me off behind as i was playing.
mike left with marlon.
cabbed down to chinatown for dinner with some business associates.5.30pm.
shark's fin.. crab.. et cetera..
rushed back to taka where i met lisa/cindy/rachel/xiaohui.
sat beside her (: .
skimmed thru town to cine again.9pm.
xiaohui/cindy/rachel pulled themselves away so i could talk to her.
went to cheers to buy a pack of fags and a bottle of evian which was her favourite.
lazed outside cine, shk..9.10pm.
met laura and esther and dulan bin. *she looks much thinner now! asked laura where uylnn was and she went why why why.. and i was like omfg omfg omfg lisa help, i mean, indubitably, i always see pics of uylnn and laura together in it.
took the escalator up where i managed to walk with her alone (: .
bumped into celeste @ the 3rd level where i showed off my D&G.
proceeded up to the 6th level, where i took out a small piece of tissue and told lisa that was for her if she cries during the show.
rachel/xiaohui/cindy ran off into the cinema with their 3tix.9.20pm.
walked in with her and occupied the 2 seats on the other end from the 3lesbians (: .
while waiting for the movie to start, lisa and i decided to grab some food.
on the way out, we spotted a couple trapped behind a one-sided trap door and we let them in. i told lisa they were probably makin out but she refused to believe.
she wanted ice-cream but i realised it was too late. sorry lisa.
we resolved to buying 2 nestle tollhouse's cookies.
the very next moment she realised that we did not buy another for the 3les, but i went like.. argh.. fuckit. fuck them.. HAHAHAH..930pm.
while walkin back, she was like thinkin of a way to trap the 3les behind the door. hahah..
she went over to the 3les and offered some of the cookies. how sweet rite? i still haf my cookie.
while still waitin for the movie to start, i was showing lisa the photos my mummy and my bee took of her, and the neoprint cindy gave me. hehe. cindy msg'd me 'i love u' and lisa wanted me to reply cindy as a pangsai face. xiaohui responded that i should concentrate on her instead (:
lisa started eating her cookie. she looked fuckin fuckin fuckin cute eatin the cookie n suckin the bits off her fingers. then she went 'now i really do need the tissue' how fuckin cute? fuckin.
alas, due to some technical errors, the movie could not be shown. i was fuckin fuckin fuckin disappointed. they gave us complimentary vouchers as compensation.
after the custodians intialised our movie studs, lisa tore it into 2 and gave me 1. is she askin me to ask her watch it again with her? i dont know. do i get to watch it with her again? i dont know. i really do hope so.
we then walked over to ice cold beer @ alley bar.
as usual, she n i were walkin very slowly behind (: .
cindy/rachel/xiaohui sneaked into ice cold beer, lisa and i followed them behind. but we got bounced since the age limit was 25. so we ended up sittin on a bench opposite alley.
called jacq out and got a hug from her. ailin followed behind.
spoke to the manager of ice cold beer and in a confusion, they all left leavin lisa and i behind.10.30pm.
lisa and i started walkin aimlessly around town as the cab i booked in advance would only arrive @ 11.15pm. she kept insisitin she could go home alone and how inconvenient it would have been for me. but of cos i had my ways.
we ended up sittin in the lounge of mandarin whilst waitin for the cab.
peering out of the glass window, she asked how i could recognise the cab which we booked.
seeing the mercs cab, i walked her out where the driver was sio-ing.
wanting to extinguish his cigarette, i told him it was okay as i wanted a smoke as well.
smoked off i went. with lisa's disgusted face. but nvm.
got into the cab to lisa's place.
she insisited i need not alight with her but i presisted. how? i had my ways again of cos.
accompanied her to the lift n she once again.. u know la. but of cos. i won again. jerm 3-0 lisa.
she wanted to pay half, how sweet rite?
took the odd-floor lift to the 25th where we parted on a sweet note.

you.
you know exactly if it's you.
my favourite girl.
mono..
lisa wisa mona lisa tai tai puddle n pie gucci rush booboopoopoobahbeeboo.

thank you for this day.

i cannot ask for more.

tatoos of memories and dead skin on trial. it is something unpredictable but in the end it is right. i hope you had the time of your life.

i did.

happiest day of the year.
i can't ask for more.
wanna know why?
tune in tmr night.
u're in for a great fairy tale.

missin her soo fuckin bad already..

she was the girl next door,
everything he wanted, and more.
beseiged by infatuation,
that followed through his maturation.
forward to grenner pastures,
he never forgot her kindly gestures.
always on his mind,
a daily occurence is his sigh.
so near yet so far - worlds apart.
he regarded her as his czar,
only to have his hearts pierced by darts.
zodiacs past,
hopes cast.
one day over her he would be swooning,
it would be a long time coming.

written by: glory lim.

i love u still. n heart u for the longer times.

ade..

as dissimilation as a worbat i may seem..
as much as i wanted this to continue..

alas..
our relationship has come to a halt.
i will still remember. n cherish. those memories.
the straw i got for you.
the fries magnet i stole.
the vanilla coke i got you.
the talk i had with u sittin on e steps @ boat quay facing singapore river.
the smoke we had @ the taxi stand.
these memories.. as clarion as a crystal can be..
is enough to see me through this lifetime.

i heart u always.

happy 1day anniversary.

i issy wissy missy my lisa wisa mona lisa tai tai puddle n pie gucci rush booboopoopoobahbeeboo.

i am at my quintessential no.2's hse..
i am insouciant..
i am thinkin too much..
i am thinkin of her..
i am missin her..
i am off to town..

lisa..

用我的晚安陪你　吃早餐 记得把想念　存进扑满
我　望着满天星在闪
听牛郎对织女说要勇敢

别怕我们在地球的两端 看我的问候　骑着魔毯
飞　用光速飞到　你面前
要你能看到十字星有北极星作伴

少了我的手臂当枕头　你习不习惯
你的望远镜望不到我北半球的孤单
太平洋的潮水跟着地球来回旋转
我会耐心地等　随时欢迎你靠岸

少了我的怀抱当暖炉　你习不习惯
E给你照片看不到我北半球的孤单
世界再大两颗真心就能　互相取暖
想念不会偷懒　我的梦通通给你保管

欧得洋-孤单北半球

thinkin of her..
fuckit la..
towning now..

i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u

lisa..

yao ni neng kan dao shi zi xing you bei ji xing zhou ban
sao le wo de shou bei dang zhen tou
ni xi bu xi guan
ni de wang yuan jing wang bu dao wo bei ban qiu de gu dan
tai ping yang de chao shui gen zhe di qiu lai hui xuan zhuan
wo hui nai xin de deng
sui shi huan ying ni kao an
sao le wo de huai bao dang nuan nu
ni xi bu xi guan
e gei ni zhao pian kan bu dao wo bei ban qiu de gu dan
shi jie zai da liang ke zhen xin jiu neng
hu xiang qu nuan
xiang nian bu hui tou lan
wo de meng tong tong ge ni bao guan.