retro

oh my god.

it took me since windows first came abt to find this fuckin game.
back to the good old childhood days.


http://www.corporatedump.com/pacman.html

i love u darlin'

p/s: pls stop colorin my world. its soo colorful already!

omg lah. im fucking bored.



I AM FUCKING BORED

I AM BORED SHITLESS.

ALL YOU MAFUCKS NURSING YOUR MAMBO HANGOVER

WAKE THE FUCK UP SO YOU CAN GO OUT WITH LIMBEI

ok imma outta here.

randy was here.

i love u darlin' .

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

am studyin;
till she wakes up for sch.
so i will get to talk to her. (=

desiree was just askin me today; out of the blue,
why i like lisa.
so im takin this one fortuity..
she's a very good girl, n she's really nice.

anyhows..
i was @ hv al dente with neil reub josh jenna neil gab n ben..
it feels like the good old euro2004 days.

alright.
now's back to the books.

nights.

just met cindy rachel lisa n another girl @ balestier.
talked to her for a while;
that's about it.

been tryin to study but to circumscribed success.
n she said she's callin after o.c but she didn't.
so fuckit.
turn off the lights pls.

i fuckin miss her.

the rose is a rose
n was always a rose
but the theory now goes
that lisa's as good as rose.

benjamin disraeli quoted 'when i want to read a novel, i write one.'
i was marvelling at the simplicity; the choice of words; the hidden innings of this very phrase, when, i thought of her.
i say when i want lisa.. does that mean i have to die for her?

im fuckin tireddd.. played catchin @ pandan valley multi-story carpark with neil dennis mike josh gabe reuben n jenna. neil n i were the first to be fuckin catchers. neil n jerm made the ultimate fuckin loser combo. dennis was runnin lose like a fuckin wild boar, reubs who wore black was hidin behind a fuckin black mercs. i got hold off gab's n josh's fuckin caps. jenna, she was playin fuckin indian style round n round the fuckin car. mike was fuckin sneeky la. neil was as fuckin lousy as me. in the next round., gabe n i were restin @ the fuckin roof top. when we were lyin down, i peered over n looked at the fuckin him; hopin it was the fuckin lisa i would want it to fuckin be. it has been a fuckin long time since i last fuckin played fuckin catchin. it was also the first time i ran soo fuckin much since i left cj. i came in fuckin slippers n now my fuckin soles hurt fuckin bad. dennis is fuckin leavin singapore tmr.. i fuckin miss u baby boy.

i don't know why i'm in a fuckin fucked up mood; maybe cos..
i miss lisaaa..
i really want to pour everythin out here.. my paltry inoculation of whines.. feelings.. open displays of affection or whatever u fuckin want it to be called.

i can't go on.

i miss u.

when u miss someone soo badly..
it gets numb..
u feel jaded..
everythin ard you just comes to a standstill..
it's like time has frozen..
an icy nippy rimy shivery wintry scene..
ur heart gets anesthetized.. stupefied..
it's just a slothful sluggard slumberous torpid me..
n the i miss u.. it just isnt there anymore..
i can't feel myself missin her..
it just disappeared..
i don't know if i should be happy..
i dont miss her anymore..
i have already lost interest..
just fuckit la..

peter was tellin me he dont feel good after reflectin his life.
it's meaningless to a fathomless extent.. u ask yourself is life worth livin?
wtf r u livin for? for the sake of livin or for others?
dreams..aspiriations, keep them close to your heart. dont let go. they will destroy you.

to those out there..
hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
i'm this very bird.

sorry, i have no fuckin idea what i'm sayin.

>>to this someone... you don't know it but i miss you.

>>jeremy.. you and your mad stts dtts and lrt. wth LA HUH. anyways thanx for always waking me up with your wake up calls. StUdY!! ahhha.... tho it hasn't exactly worked.

lisa said this. part of her blog. i miss her soo much but shes missin someone else. is it a guy? is it a girl? or is there a slightest of ; or the numero uno picayune of chance it's me. i feel soo fucked up by the little things she do. u know.. i was just tellin yan.. the last time i felt this way.. was fuckin long ago.. i cant remember when; but i will always remember it happened. she texted me a sms which as meant for someone else sayin she's gonna watch a show with kenny.

randy asked 'feels like shit right?' no shit it does. i almost forgot that feelin but now it's back again. josh said "i think im finally understanding abit of how u feel to lose someone u love". but i still dont. understand i hope i never have to.

she's havin her promos n she's very stress. so i'm thinkin of callin up my florist n ask how many colors do tulips come in n get one of each. she likes tulips. i think she would be happy la.
u know too.. what we love to do, we find time to do. all the birds in the sky, all the fish in the sea, will never explain what u mean to me.

hans christian andersen once said.. every person's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers. i say my life is a nightmare strung n manipulated by the tips of Satan's will.

everyone's fuckin sick of me saying my favourite girl lisa mona lisa tai tai puddle n pie gucci rush booboopoopoobahbeeboo.
everyone's fuckin sick of me sayin ' i miss lisa '
i myself, am sick of missin her.
everyone's fuckin sick of me whining.
no one wants to hear my whines.
the whines have been going on for the whole year.
randy doesn't want to hear my whines.
dennis cant't wait to return to hear my whines.
ade heard my whines just now though (:
ah wen fuckin hates the word ' lisa '
michelle kam can kum my lanjiao for all the fucks' world i don't give a fuck.
i just want my fuckin lisa.

alexander the great cried at 26 cos he had run out of known worlds to conquer. he had pretty much achieved everythin he could. after that, the rest of his life is simply existence.

i haven't acheived the very one thing i wanted ; talkin about everythin i could..
but still.. now.. my life is already simply existence.
it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the areana, whose face is marred by dust and sweat; who strives valiantly; who errs; who comes short again and again, cos there's no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strives the deeds; who spends himself at a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end of triumph of high achievenment and who at worst, if he fails while daring greatly, so his place shall never be with those cold and tiny souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

why bother with someone who doesn't give a fuck about you?

a puppy thought that happiness was in his tail.
so he kept chasing it
round & round he went
until he got so fed up & dizzy
then he asked his mummy dog
y it was so
she told him
that, the best thing is to
keep moving forward
only when u do so,
will happiness follow..

fuck the puppy.
fuck the mother.
fuck her.

was watchin the US Open last night..

justine henin-hardenne vs n.petrova..

henin.. the world no.1 and no.1 seed against the lowly 15th seed..
fuck.. still lost right?
she lost 6-4 6-2 in the 4th round.
what a fuckin sorry sight.
saw the determination on justine's face..
fuck.
was it just so that u can't always have what u want?
cheebye.
she saved 3 match points.. down 5-2..
alas, on her 4th.. she lost it.
pathetic.
i was soo motherfuckin sad for her..
i felt she was like me.

fuck u. fuck u. really. fuck u.

do you know that i still think about you?
even though i know that it's too late.
do you know that I'm still missing you?
especially right now you're far away.
there's no need to for you to tell me that; "i'm sorry",
there's no need for you to tell me that i'm sorry,
i said i'm sorry, i said i'm sorry.
i've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind
i've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking of you
i've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind
i've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking.
i'm idling in front of my comp.
i'm waitin for her to call; guess she wouldn't.
i'm goin to cry already; don't know why.
i'm just soo jaded; numb; fucked.
i'm chattin with my brother dennis fuck when the fuck are u gonna fuckin come back?
i'm going to buy him an air tix back to singapore.
i'm fuckin missin her badly.
i'm restraining myself from spillin out my feelings; it sucks. ; know what?
i'm going sleep.

penitence. if not apologies. for you to come across yet another fucked up entry of mine.

i'm not too loosely certain if my dad has read my blog.
' but dad. if you're reading. i'm sorry for all the anguish i have caused. but please. concede me to lead my own life. you know and i know i can make it. so don't make things operose; at the same time, esoteric, for jerm. ya. please leave this blog. liberate me with the solitude i desire. '

labyrinthine is the ilk of life i have been going through.
'wu si ki wu si lou'. wa si lou zeng gu liao. 'ai pia jia eh yia'. pia simi lan? ah sii si.

still fallible to this need for public displays of my thoughts. here's my paltry inoculation of whines. i want to say this. i want to keep it short. i want to get over with it.
- i know i've been very fucked up because of her. it's nothing new or of late. to some extent u guys are irritated by her n started hating her. i quarrelled with my dad last night. he threatened to call n scold her. but it's not her fault. it really isn't. i postulate that i just love her too fuckin much. i convey everyone the apprenhension that she's a fuckin bitch fuckin jerm's already-fucked life. i really don't know. i really feel like givin up at times. like right now.

i say 'no one is truly happy'.
randy says 'for awhile, she made me truly happy'.
she did. for awhile. saturday.

lisa.
if you're reading this, im sorry.
i want to make things better.
and i will.
i'm the one who wants to be with you.
deep inside i hope you'll feel it too.
waiting on a line of greens and blues.
just to be the next to be with you...

lisa, i have not been any happier this year.
i know it's fucked up to blog soo much about one's day.
but it's evidently legitimate since 21st august 2004 is the day i would always want to remember.

so. enjoy.

woke up n gave cindy a call.1230pm.
cabbed down to wisma and met cindy/rachel/xinghui.
got fio to cut my hair.
walked over to crown prince hotel with the girls to return their donation tin cans.
made our way to mandarin's chatterbox.
peter and xiaohui came.
lisa and stephanie came down soon after.2.45pm.
ate the oh-soo-famous overated chicken rice.
the only thing i spoke to her then was 'do you want anything to eat or drink?'
peter cabbed to rayner's place.
i think stephanie disappeared. hahah. who cares? j/k.
shashayed over to cine to check the movie times.
we decided on a 9.10movie - Notebook.
only managed to get seperated seats, 3 together and a pair.
lisa and rachel left to change off their uniforms.
cindy, xiaohui and i went to play abit of arcade.
mike grabbed me off behind as i was playing.
mike left with marlon.
cabbed down to chinatown for dinner with some business associates.5.30pm.
shark's fin.. crab.. et cetera..
rushed back to taka where i met lisa/cindy/rachel/xiaohui.
sat beside her (: .
skimmed thru town to cine again.9pm.
xiaohui/cindy/rachel pulled themselves away so i could talk to her.
went to cheers to buy a pack of fags and a bottle of evian which was her favourite.
lazed outside cine, shk..9.10pm.
met laura and esther and dulan bin. *she looks much thinner now! asked laura where uylnn was and she went why why why.. and i was like omfg omfg omfg lisa help, i mean, indubitably, i always see pics of uylnn and laura together in it.
took the escalator up where i managed to walk with her alone (: .
bumped into celeste @ the 3rd level where i showed off my D&G.
proceeded up to the 6th level, where i took out a small piece of tissue and told lisa that was for her if she cries during the show.
rachel/xiaohui/cindy ran off into the cinema with their 3tix.9.20pm.
walked in with her and occupied the 2 seats on the other end from the 3lesbians (: .
while waiting for the movie to start, lisa and i decided to grab some food.
on the way out, we spotted a couple trapped behind a one-sided trap door and we let them in. i told lisa they were probably makin out but she refused to believe.
she wanted ice-cream but i realised it was too late. sorry lisa.
we resolved to buying 2 nestle tollhouse's cookies.
the very next moment she realised that we did not buy another for the 3les, but i went like.. argh.. fuckit. fuck them.. HAHAHAH..930pm.
while walkin back, she was like thinkin of a way to trap the 3les behind the door. hahah..
she went over to the 3les and offered some of the cookies. how sweet rite? i still haf my cookie.
while still waitin for the movie to start, i was showing lisa the photos my mummy and my bee took of her, and the neoprint cindy gave me. hehe. cindy msg'd me 'i love u' and lisa wanted me to reply cindy as a pangsai face. xiaohui responded that i should concentrate on her instead (:
lisa started eating her cookie. she looked fuckin fuckin fuckin cute eatin the cookie n suckin the bits off her fingers. then she went 'now i really do need the tissue' how fuckin cute? fuckin.
alas, due to some technical errors, the movie could not be shown. i was fuckin fuckin fuckin disappointed. they gave us complimentary vouchers as compensation.
after the custodians intialised our movie studs, lisa tore it into 2 and gave me 1. is she askin me to ask her watch it again with her? i dont know. do i get to watch it with her again? i dont know. i really do hope so.
we then walked over to ice cold beer @ alley bar.
as usual, she n i were walkin very slowly behind (: .
cindy/rachel/xiaohui sneaked into ice cold beer, lisa and i followed them behind. but we got bounced since the age limit was 25. so we ended up sittin on a bench opposite alley.
called jacq out and got a hug from her. ailin followed behind.
spoke to the manager of ice cold beer and in a confusion, they all left leavin lisa and i behind.10.30pm.
lisa and i started walkin aimlessly around town as the cab i booked in advance would only arrive @ 11.15pm. she kept insisitin she could go home alone and how inconvenient it would have been for me. but of cos i had my ways.
we ended up sittin in the lounge of mandarin whilst waitin for the cab.
peering out of the glass window, she asked how i could recognise the cab which we booked.
seeing the mercs cab, i walked her out where the driver was sio-ing.
wanting to extinguish his cigarette, i told him it was okay as i wanted a smoke as well.
smoked off i went. with lisa's disgusted face. but nvm.
got into the cab to lisa's place.
she insisited i need not alight with her but i presisted. how? i had my ways again of cos.
accompanied her to the lift n she once again.. u know la. but of cos. i won again. jerm 3-0 lisa.
she wanted to pay half, how sweet rite?
took the odd-floor lift to the 25th where we parted on a sweet note.

you.
you know exactly if it's you.
my favourite girl.
mono..
lisa wisa mona lisa tai tai puddle n pie gucci rush booboopoopoobahbeeboo.

thank you for this day.

i cannot ask for more.

tatoos of memories and dead skin on trial. it is something unpredictable but in the end it is right. i hope you had the time of your life.

i did.

happiest day of the year.
i can't ask for more.
wanna know why?
tune in tmr night.
u're in for a great fairy tale.

missin her soo fuckin bad already..

she was the girl next door,
everything he wanted, and more.
beseiged by infatuation,
that followed through his maturation.
forward to grenner pastures,
he never forgot her kindly gestures.
always on his mind,
a daily occurence is his sigh.
so near yet so far - worlds apart.
he regarded her as his czar,
only to have his hearts pierced by darts.
zodiacs past,
hopes cast.
one day over her he would be swooning,
it would be a long time coming.

written by: glory lim.

i love u still. n heart u for the longer times.

ade..

as dissimilation as a worbat i may seem..
as much as i wanted this to continue..

alas..
our relationship has come to a halt.
i will still remember. n cherish. those memories.
the straw i got for you.
the fries magnet i stole.
the vanilla coke i got you.
the talk i had with u sittin on e steps @ boat quay facing singapore river.
the smoke we had @ the taxi stand.
these memories.. as clarion as a crystal can be..
is enough to see me through this lifetime.

i heart u always.

happy 1day anniversary.

i issy wissy missy my lisa wisa mona lisa tai tai puddle n pie gucci rush booboopoopoobahbeeboo.

i am at my quintessential no.2's hse..
i am insouciant..
i am thinkin too much..
i am thinkin of her..
i am missin her..
i am off to town..

lisa..

用我的晚安陪你　吃早餐 记得把想念　存进扑满
我　望着满天星在闪
听牛郎对织女说要勇敢

别怕我们在地球的两端 看我的问候　骑着魔毯
飞　用光速飞到　你面前
要你能看到十字星有北极星作伴

少了我的手臂当枕头　你习不习惯
你的望远镜望不到我北半球的孤单
太平洋的潮水跟着地球来回旋转
我会耐心地等　随时欢迎你靠岸

少了我的怀抱当暖炉　你习不习惯
E给你照片看不到我北半球的孤单
世界再大两颗真心就能　互相取暖
想念不会偷懒　我的梦通通给你保管

欧得洋-孤单北半球

thinkin of her..
fuckit la..
towning now..

i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u
i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u i love u

lisa..

yao ni neng kan dao shi zi xing you bei ji xing zhou ban
sao le wo de shou bei dang zhen tou
ni xi bu xi guan
ni de wang yuan jing wang bu dao wo bei ban qiu de gu dan
tai ping yang de chao shui gen zhe di qiu lai hui xuan zhuan
wo hui nai xin de deng
sui shi huan ying ni kao an
sao le wo de huai bao dang nuan nu
ni xi bu xi guan
e gei ni zhao pian kan bu dao wo bei ban qiu de gu dan
shi jie zai da liang ke zhen xin jiu neng
hu xiang qu nuan
xiang nian bu hui tou lan
wo de meng tong tong ge ni bao guan.

NOT BLOGGIN ANYMORE

1 hr 2 min 45 sec (=

talked to her for 25min 18sec..
intially, i pereived she was angry with me cos peter called used my fone to her incessantly..
peter, as u wished.. MANNIE WANNIE NANNIE BANNIE SEXY BABY LAZY DICKY.

"while this was your first conviction, u have been implicated, though nvr charged, in over a dozen other confidence schemes n frauds. what can u tell us abt this?"

"as u say, ma'am," danny said, "i was nvr charged"

"mr ocean, what we're tryin to find out is, was there a reason u chose to commit this crime."

"my wife left me, i was upset. i got into a self-destructive pattern."

"if released, is it likely u wld fall back into similar pattern?"

"she already left me once. i dont think she'll do it again just for kicks"

"mr ocean, what do u think u wld do upon released?"

"i dont know, how much u guys make a yr?"

an excerpt from ocean's 11. i just find the silver-tongued danny too loquacious.


saturday newton supper.. 'ah bung, satu mee rebus'
went to cecil's place where i spent 3hrs talkin to her for over 3hrs.. till 5 in the morning? i'm certainly glad things got chitty chitty bang bang!

sunday was a retarded relakin day, so was monday. oh sorry randy, i told lisa abt the STTs and the DTTs. spoke to her fer half an hr or so, amidst singin a handful of my masterpieced oldies.

today was the ktv day.. n here shall i collate my top3 songs.
1) dui mian de nu hai kan guo lai
2) ai pia jia eh yia
3) together forever

fuck.. neil dennis n joshua stood up as flash as jack had his ass burnt by a candle stick when i started singin 'together forever'. least i had peter xue chi fio glory who appreciated my music..

p~s: oh my new nick for her is 'mono'.. which indicatively means 'my one n only'.

beering session with nick+brian+anas+aloy+yp+taufiq+jenn+yan+desiree..
superlatively.. they got me an oreo cake with 18 assorted cigarettes [different brands n types hahah]. wtf?
we started sio-ing 3 sticks @ a time.. the only drawback was that they dont exactly look,taste, as refine.. like the determinant of an inverse equation, i shall vanish.. nights.

lisa, 4months n 12days..

7yrs n 50days the time is passin by.. nothin in this world could be.. as nice as u n i.. n how could we break up like this n how could we be wrong.. so many years.. so many days.. n i still sing my song.. now i run to u like i always do when i close my eyes i think of u.. such as a lonely boy such a lonely world when i close my eyes i dream.. i'll reuturn to u like i always do when i close my eyes i tink of u.. such as a lonely boy such a lonely world when i close my eyes i dream.. of u.. 7yrs n 50days.. now just look @ me..

i close my eyes when i get too sad, i close my eyes when I get too sad, i think thoughts tt i know are bad, close my eyes and i count to 10, hope it's over when i open them.. i want the things that i had before, like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door, i wish i could count to ten, make everything be wonderful again..

sometimes I feel, like I am drunk behind the wheel, the wheel of possibility, however it may roll. give it a spin.see if you can somehow factor in. you know there's always more than one way, to say exactly what you mean to say..
was I out of my head?
was I out of my mind?
how could I have ever been so blind?..i was waiting for an INDICATION. it was hard to find. don't matter what i say only what i do. i never mean to do bad things to you, so quiet but i finally woke up, if you're sad then it's time you spoke up too..

u, doing that thing you do. breakin' my heart into a million pieces like you always do.
n u, don't mean to be cruel. u never even knew about the heartache.. i've been going through..n i try and try to forget you girl.. but it's just so hard to do.every time you do that thing you do..

don't stray.. don't ever go away. i should be much too smart for this. u know it gets the better of me. sometimes. when you and i collide, i fall into an ocean of u. pull me out in time. don't let me drown. let me down. i say it's all because of u.. n here i go, losing my control..im practicing your name.. so i can say i tto your face. it doesn'tseem right, to look u in the eye. let all the thingsu mean to me, come tumbling out my mouth.indeed it's time.. tell you why, i say it's, infinitely true..

it's turning out just another day. i took a shower n i went on my wayi stopped there as usual had a coffee and piewhen i turned to leavei couldn't believe my eyes
standing there i didn't know what to say
without one touch
we stood there face to face........
i was dying indside to hold you
i couldn't believe what i felt for you
dying inside i was dying inside
but i couldn't bring myself to touch you
you said hello then u asked my name, i didn't know if i should go all the way. inside i felt my life have really changed. i knew that it would never be the same.. standing there i didn't know what to say.. first time looked away when i whispered your name. one hello changed my life. i didn't believe in love at first sight.. but you've shown me what is life n i now i know my love.

dennis the lemon puss is makin a din that i should update my wonderous blog.
why?.. just 'cos he's bored in down under. so.. id est, this in specie, is indicatively just for you.

frm sat 10:49..
i received a total of 70sms from my lisa wisa mona lisa tai tai puddle n pie booboopoopoobahbeeboo.
on sunday 22:52..
i talked to her for an hr..

HAHAHAH.. suck it brother.
brother, i'm intrepid that u dont communicate with the goreng pisang as much.
least you still have those guest books..

night brings our troubles to the light, rather than banishes them.
i'm progressin back to my bed.
nights.

13june. hv's el dante watchin euro2004
neil + cliffy + ben + mike + uncle charles - lisa

14june. hv kopitiam watchin euro2004
neil + cliffy + ben + mike + uncle charles + leslie chihuahua + druggie + nafis - lisa

15june? as expected.. everyone else - lisa
life's indeed not at all of any morality substance.
solitariness that is.

HAHAH.., i know what ure thinkin.
go away.

i feel abit happier. tickled pink.. i managed to talk to her last night. not for long though. but still.. for 1, that's the voice i exceedingly wanna hear. for 2, the idea that several of you had the 'rights' to idealically criticise, will be completely illegitimate.
Not that i frown on those who come to libertarianism, too much of it is sick. neil,randy,dennis.. see this do u 3?

other things besides her ur want me to divulge abt?
permit me to talk abt the last 5days.
sat~ newton supper neil+dennis+exo
sunday~ cecil stayed over my place
monday~ chinablack / cecil still @ his hotel..
tues~ newton supper neil+cecil+dennis
wed~ dr6 kopitiam supper desiree+yp+aloy+ray ... oh, n tragus piercin`. i had neil,randy,dennis,dawn,ulynn,sally,cindy,fiona see me squirm. lucky me to haf them ard rite? with dawn fleatingly tryin to capture nature @ its best..
thurs~ changi village supper / peter, sorry i can't make it to ur party. as a compensation.. MANNIE : I LOVE PETER
the rest of the evenings spent in town. tmr will be indifferent.
nothin' interestin rite?
so.. back to her.

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who'da believed that you were part of a dream?
Now it all seems light years away

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well I'm finding it hard leavin' your love behind me

wonderin y no entry?

theres nothin to talk abt.

lisa's gone.

nights.

1145pm. newton circus hawker.
'auntie ar, teh sua'

this time rd. its neil dennis exo n i. soon after, desiree doug n matt came down. bein a besmirched child, i realised i need a kopitiam auntie in my hse. especially when sch commences in a month. i wld be rather tired. tt wld be great. hmm!.. towering.

anyhows.randy thank you fer ur kind comments. cordial tt is. love u to bits. though theres not much left of u.-> pardon the poor pun.-> quite gd actually. thx victor/neil/desiree/uylnn/mich/dennis.. ya i remembered cos i famoused it. quoted frm friends.

i love friends. watched every season,every episode. jennifer aniston as rachel green. courtney cox arquette as monica gellar bing. lisa kudrow as phoebe buffay. matt le blanc as joey tribbiani. matthew perry as chandler bing. david schwimmer as ross gellar. not forgettin james michael taylor as gunther. apologies fer this palaverous shit. im afraid i will forget their full names. so shall their celebrated names, leave their spots here.

im fuckin happy today. i haf nvr been this happy fer months. lisa called @ 1+. it was certainly a bliss. delighted, blissful, blithe. WAIT AR LET ME GO GET MY BROTHER'S THESAURUS. blessed. blest, can't complain, captivated, cheerful, chipper, chirpy, content, contented, convivial, ecstatic, elated, exultant, flying high, gay, glad, gleeful, gratified, hopped up, intoxicated, jolly, joyful, joyous, jubilant, laughing, light, lively, looking good, merry, mirthful, overjoyed, peaceful, peppy, perky, playful, pleasant, pleased, satisfied, sparkling, sunny, thrilled, tickled, tickled pink, up, upbeat.
spent 1/2 an hr or so vocalising abt the most common of things. however, after the conversation, i felt tt i was spendin too much time talkin abt myself.im sorry lisa. i hope this sensational fanstasy will reoccur everynight. they say.. to achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep. nights..

pause pause.. this song's perfect fer this night.
I'm on the -- top of the world lookin'
down on creation and the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found, ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

oh i miss my mummy

11pm. drive6 24hr kopitiam.
'auntie ar, ho wa zi bao dunhill lights ka teh sua'.

sat down @ our favourite spot. away frm the bustling hullabaloo crowd. yp aloy n i. we all had our problems. thinkin abt them all. i feel they are fragmentary, patchworks of autochthonous and foreign elements. complications. entanglements. like an italian proverb saying 'at the end of the game,the king and the pawn go back in the same box'. well said italians. problems come n go. but new ones always do resurface. lisa.. n now.. my favouritest teacher, jean yeow, who's down wif typhiod. so. now. acquiesce me to blog abt these 2 ladies.

lisa..

when u n i collide.i fall into an ocean of u.pls..pull me out in time girl.dont let me drown.let me down.i say its all becos of u.n here i go,losin my control.im practisin ur name.so i can say it..to ur face.nono,it doesnt seem right.to look u in the eye.let all the things,that mean to me.come tumblin out of my mouth.say u'll stay.dont come n go, like u do.sway me way.yeah,i need to noe.juz all abt u.

(And) i was dying indside to hold you
i couldn't believe what i felt for you
dying inside i was dying inside
but i couldn't bring myself to touch you

jean yeow..

u may be in alaska now, but u will always secure a place in my heart.this teacher made a colossal impact in my life.grandiose.?monumental.?just before she left to visit her dad, she sent me 3sms long msg twice.there's this mutual understandin b/w us. she may be only 10yrs older, but this lady has my utmost respect.she made a celebrated difference in my studies.no shit.she really did.when i discovered she fell ill.. tears, idle tears, i know not what they mean. tears from the depth of some divine despair.. rise in the heart and gather to the eyes, in looking on the happy autumn-fields, n thinking of the days that are no more. days i had in cj. i left lisa n jean behind.jean.. may i wish u the best of health.really hope u recover soon..

read this article headed ' revisionism as the ultimate cause'
historians.. lets hiss away.

in the spring of 1966, murray rothbard’s left and right carried an editorial describing cold war revisionism as the major historical task of the day. rothbard saw e struggle between e ‘official’ state-sponsored versions of history n revisionism to be one of e utmost importance.

today, e importance of revisionism is unchanged. e history taught to the nation’s students in the state’s schools is flat out wrong. my generation is coming up ignorant of the history of this nation and the world. nearly everyone simply accepts what he is taught without any thinking or analysis.

revisionism is important because it takes e ammunition from those who seek to enlarge the state. ard memorial day, we are bombarded by reminders from statist historians tt those men who served their country during wartime were fighting to secure our freedom. they invoke the images of Lincoln, Wilson, FDR, and Reagan in an effort to support the state’s most recent war. if we allow these propagandists to go unchallenged in their interpretation of our history, we doom ourselves to a defeat in e war of ideas.

this memorial day, we see a perfect example of this invocation. e herald tribune, which ran a column yday on the current war in iraq and the war for southern independence. steyn writes,

u think Iraq's a quagmire? lincoln's ''new birth of freedom'' bogged down into a centurylong quagmire of segregation, denial of civil rights, lynchings. Does that mean the civil war wasn't worth fighting? tt, as al gore and other excitable types would say, abe q. lincoln lied to us?

his version of history has been taught in schools for as long as public schooling has existed on a large scale. be it singapore or america alike. cos his is the orthodox view of history, this column will serve as a resounding reminder of our moral purpose to a majority of the public.

And this is precisely why revisionism is so important to the cause of liberty. were the public educated on the causes, effects, and historical implications of the War for southern independence? actually, hmm.. no. this article would not resonate with anyone. it would likely be ridiculed and laughed at by most people if they knew the truth about that horrible war. instead, it will re-affirm the belief in bush’s war. we cannot allow this to continue if we hope to ever win the war of ideas.

hence, in exact context, ascribing in today's jerm's life, is actually how im starveling fer the one i desire. u noe who urself.

the hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. how i wish i can quit smokin.

today. 29th may. 4.15pm. i bumped into lisa, my j'adore, @ far east while smokin.. is it that i smoke too often or im juz plain suey? u noe.. its like before the globlet actually reaches the lips, the wine spills. fucked up la.

i hate my mummy. she promised to call me @ 7pm.. but she didnt. mummy... i fuckin hate u!
i fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin fuckin hate u.

i miss cj | i miss the simplicity of it all | i miss lisa | i miss the times i look out fer lisa | i miss her friends | i miss the wanton mee | i miss the yong tau fu | i miss the drink stall auntie | i miss the fruit juice uncle who gave my fags | i miss the fruit juices | i miss the ice moutain | i miss the bandung | i miss buyin sweets/mints | i miss the canteen | i miss the stuffiness of the canteen | i miss everyone surroundin me | i miss 1t10 | i miss 2t10 | i miss all my classmates | i miss the lectures | i miss european history tutorials | i miss the i-am-scoldin-u-cos-i-love-u-jeremy scoldigs frm jean yeow | i miss jean yeow | i miss gatherin in canteen after sch before goin to town | i miss walkin out of sch | i miss the bus stop | i miss smokin in the toilets | i miss the science lab toilets | i miss the fencing rooom | i miss smokin @ grandstands | i miss the grandstands | i miss tennis trainings | i miss mass PE | i miss the first 2 months i had wif RANDY | i miss the stench NEIL left behind after he left after 1st 3months | i miss the times antrishk n i walk ard the sch till we were called security guards | i miss the library | i miss the librarian | i miss the times we had in the library slackin after our meals | i miss walkin ard the corridors | i miss the mornings i had before assembly wif PETER n others | i miss relakin after break @ the grandstands | i miss lookin sad in sch | i miss laughin @ bro paul | i miss the sch anthem | i miss the mornings i see liping's sunshine face | i miss the staircases | i miss takin exams | i miss geog/econs/GP/hist | i miss strokin ulynn/yolanda/daph's cheeks | i miss assemblies under than scorchin hot sun @ the quadrangle | i miss the fish pond outside my class | i miss amanda/augustin/baoli/bennett/celeste/chengta/cindy/cliffy/daph/
darylMYdarling/e'an/eugene/exo/felica/fengyi/gohteckting/hannah/
jacq/james/jason/jean/jenn/jianhui/jinghao/jiongxiong/jon/josh/
kelli/martinjason/mark/marcus/maisie/melv/michael/orange/peishi/
purpleyan/rayner/reubenteongNtan/stacey/stan/shuan/tim/uylnn/
victor/wenlong/wenwen/xueting/xiaohui/yolanda/
| I MOTHER FUCKIN MISS THE WHOLE GOD DAMN PLACE LA |

jacq said 'jermsta's like a lil' boy'
sally said 'my son's damn cute!'
anymore?

i miss acs(I) more but i don't wannna talk abt it.

let me make this clear. i nvr did say smokin is cool. i nvr put it in a way i want pple to noe i smoke. cos everyone who reads my blog noes. i m not proud of it. i m just sayin what i feel. guys.. tio boh? i just want to be happy wif a blog fer my frens to enjoy.
so.. to those whom i dunnoe, i noe u haf done much for psychiatry, by spreading information about smokin as well as contributing to the need for it.. but.. erm..mm.. fark off.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wtf is wrong wif smokin? y muz pple HATE smokers? cant they just dislike pple smokin? to us smokers, a stick of cigarette is simply just like a kiss which is this lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. so.. to all those out there.. especially her.. who HATE smokers.. fuck u.

now.. let us talk abt this bitch.
you can chase a butterfly all over the field n nvr catch it.
they say that smth as small as a butterfly beatin its wings in china can cause a hurricane in america. wheeeee.... im flyin away. hurhur.

in this ante to supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears
this is fer u.
Can you leave me here alone now
I don't want to hear you say that you know me
that I should be always doing what you say
'cause I'm trying to get through today
and there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
or think about me
don't wanna figure this out
don't wanna think about you
or think about nothing
don't wanna talk this one out
won't let you bring me down

'cause i know
don't wanna think about you
don't wanna think about you

to end on a less sour note..

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date"

Sonnet 18, Shakespear

/lisa/okay,the rest r in alphabetical order/

/ahbai/ahkeong/aloy/amanda/ant/ben/bee/cecil/chihuahua/cliffy/
counsellor/daph/darlingdaryl/dawn/deb/dennis/desiree/eugene/
eunice/gohteckting/jacq/jeanyeow/joseph/josh/kai/katie/kelly/
kelvinthepaikia/kerr/lala/leanne/lindy/mandy/marcus/mel/mish/
mike/mj/mrsann/neil/paul/rach/randy/rayner/roger/sally/
shawnheng/shuan/timlim/uylnn/victorhiadi/weijun/xh/xue/yan/
yannie/yp/zhikai/

/sorry if i left out any names/do let me know/

/this is fer u guys/

/together forever and never to part/together forever we two/and don't you know/i would move heaven and earth/to be together forever with you/

*on the way home..
jerm: tell me some stories abt lisa lei. kum sian.
peter: u gimme ur tie first. i wanna tie a short n fat one
jerm: no
peter: okay la, i left jean yeow's lecture to the toilet, i saw lisa in the canteen quarrellin wif a guy.
jerm: ning nao hia, siang soo much balls?
peter: apparently she knocked over his tray. then i was in a hurry to go back la. so i didnt help her.
jerm: wah lan eh, bu gou brother.. then she how?
peter:i saw the guy bullyin her, but shes reputated to be evil n satanic n all, so i had no worries
jerm:true true.. who's that fucka?
peter: u want to know who's the guy nots? gimme ur tie first
*took off my tie n passed it to peter who tied a mouth-size big knot n 3 inch long.
jerm: siang siang?
peter: no la, i was sleepin in lecture n jean yeow woke me up from my dream. HAHAHAH
jerm: ...

its 11:26 pm n i havent been able to study. abnegation sure goes a long way. thanks fer fuckin my life up.

was i out of my head? was i out of my mind? how could i have ever been soo blind? i was waitin fer an indication. it was hard to find. dont matter what i say, only what i do, i never meann to do bad things to you. so quiet but finally i woke up. if you're sad then it's time u spoke up too.

today's my brother's b'dae.
Dennis Teo.

brother. i just want to let u noe, although u're in australia n all, we will always be here for u. brother, even if i have motherfuckin exams, limpei will fuckin go down n pick u up like what i did the previous time.

happy birthday. sweet 18.

to close.i just want to let everyone know i love my mummy. she goes by the name of sally, nick of jaws. mom, if u r seeing this, dont cry.

so come on jerm be nimble, jerm be quick, jerm flash sat on a candlestick. cos the fire is the devil's only friend. oh and as i watched him on the stage. my hands were clenched in fists of rage. no angel born in hell could break that satan's spell. and as the flames climbed high into the night, to light the sacrificial right. i saw satan laughin with delight. the day,.. jerm died.

The
moment
where my
desires were
answered and my
chronic daymares were
ceased to an end, that even
promised myself the stark
incandescence of my
redemption, had
fallen, like tears
at a love's
end.

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